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Write Your Own Permission Slip

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A few weeks ago, someone came to me for advice, asking my opinion on whether she should apply for a job or not. We talked through the details of her current job and the potential job. I told her, “The best time to apply for a job is when you already have one,” and it’s true. When you already have a job, you're not desperate. You have an income. You may even have benefits. You might not be satisfied in your current role, and you might even want to get out of a toxic environment, but you still have a place to punch in. For this person, there is not a terrible workplace that she wants to get out of, so that’s even better.  I encouraged her to think about it, to make an honest-to-goodness, on-paper Pro/Con list with her husband, and then apply if she felt so led. And if she gets an interview, great. If not, also great. If she gets an offer, great. If she doesn’t, also great.  I had no idea if my advice was helpful or not, until today. This person reached back out to me, thanking m...
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Going Dark

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In the theatre world, when there are no rehearsals or performances planned for a given day, it’s referred to the theatre being “dark.” You know, like no one is turning on the lights, so stay out. (Actually the ghost light will be on, so no one falls off the stage and literally breaks a leg, should they be wandering around in the dark.) In the sports world (of which I am exactly 14% familiar, thanks to my children’s brief stints in tee-ball, swim team, and soccer), when a team doesn’t have a game, it’s called a “bye week.”  This past week, I tried an experiment of going dark on social media. My own bye week, to mix metaphors. I decided to not log into my personal Facebook account for an entire week. Now, for my job, I need to log into our professional page, in order to post photos and updates for our school community. But, that’s all I did.  Here’s what I noticed: Each day that passed in the dark, I felt paradoxically lighter and lighter. Instead of buying into the distracting ...
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Becoming an Alarmist

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About 2 months ago, I decided to level up my digital boundaries. I'd already implemented a weekly digital Sabbath of sorts, where I unplug from Friday night to Saturday night - ish. Sometimes, it's Saturday into Sunday. It all depends on what I have going on in my life.  I like the digital Sabbath and its effect on my weekend. I also began to notice that my days were feeling more and more draining, as I felt the need to be "on" and "available" all the time.  So, I bought an alarm clock.  An honest-to-goodness $10 alarm clock from Amazon. I noticed that my excuse to have my phone by my side during the evening, and by my bed at night was, "My phone is my alarm clock." Pretty much every person I know uses their phone as their alarm clock.  ( When did we all throw away our alarm clocks? It happened sometime, in every house in America. Was there a memo that went out to coordinate the momentous occasion? )  The problem was that I wasn't just using my...
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It's the Little Things: Recycling Day

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We have single-stream recycling (which, yes, I realize may in fact be a scam, but let me think I'm helping the planet, OK?), and it is picked up on the first Wednesday of each month. Super early. So, if we happen to forget to put it out at the curb on Tuesday night, we are screwed for the month. We have our trash and recycling cans lined up fairly close to the end of the driveway, but historically, if the can isn't at the curb, we are out of luck.  (Our garbage company totally spoils us by walking over to our cans if we don't have them at the curb and taking them over to the truck, but that's because we know the owners.) This Wednesday was a very Wednesday-Wednesday. Ever have one of those days? Beyond hectic at work, stress and demands piling up at every turn. You know the kind of day, I am sure.  As I drove home, I was mentally reviewing the home to-do list, more stress adding. As I prepared dinner, I realized that I forgot recycling day. Ugh. Yes, absolutely a first-...
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I've Been to The Mountaintop: The Power of Theatre

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 Last week, I attended a performance of The Mountaintop  at our local community theatre. I'm friends with the director, a young Black man who is a teacher and who has been in productions I've directed and acted in. We've grown close over the past year or so, after some assumptions on both our parts were ironed out and we discovered we had more in common than not.  I knew more than the average audience member about the process that went into this 2-person "simple" show, depicting the night before Martin Luther King, Jr.'s assassination. Despite being in a small city, our community theatre struggles to attract actors of color. We have an outreach committee devoted to breaking down barriers, from the audition experience to what it's like to attend a show in our space for the first time. We want to encourage as many voices as we can to share their stories in our -- soon to be their -- space.  A 2-person show is hard, ya'll. There are no freaking breaks for...
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Questioning Reality -- Revisiting The Truman Show

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This past weekend, my 14-year-old son and I watched The Truman Show, a film that came out the year I graduated high school. It was his idea. "Mom, this is a really great movie," he told me.  I remember when the movie came out, and how it impacted me. There was so much to think about -- the ethics of a "reality"-ish show that involved duping the first child ever adopted by a corporation, a marriage between Truman and a paid actress, the slandering of a woman who truly cared for Truman and tried to tell him the truth, the perfectly synchronized and orchestrated existence of Truman by a man who both loved and wanted to control him.  I remember thinking at the time that there is so much that we just willingly accept without looking any closer -- and this was before I had left my hometown, before I went to college and met people with different skin colors and backgrounds. Boy, did I have a lot to learn back then (and now -- aren't we all works in progress?). My son -...
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The Power of Travel: Glimpsing the Bigger Picture

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In February, I had the spectacular privilege to travel to California to visit my son and his wife (and along the way, I was able to visit some friends I haven't seen in over 8 years!). It was incredible to escape the doldrums of February in PA and feel the sun on my face.  There is nothing quite like the Pacific Ocean, and the multitude of ecosystems you can find in California. Along the bay, it's misty and foggy, allowing succulents to grow the size of large pizzas. As we drove up "The One," through Big Sur, we saw beaches, forests, rocky mountains. The variety never seemed to end.  In San Francisco, we watched sea lions fight over which boating dock they wanted to bask on, with Alcatraz casting a shadow from the distance.  We visited redwood trees that could have witnessed the birth of Jesus, the signing of the Magna Carta, and the falling of the Twin Towers. Ever feel like you were pretty important and all your stuff really mattered? Yeah. A redwood will give you i...
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