Going Dark

In the theatre world, when there are no rehearsals or performances planned for a given day, it’s referred to the theatre being “dark.” You know, like no one is turning on the lights, so stay out. (Actually the ghost light will be on, so no one falls off the stage and literally breaks a leg, should they be wandering around in the dark.)

In the sports world (of which I am exactly 14% familiar, thanks to my children’s brief stints in tee-ball, swim team, and soccer), when a team doesn’t have a game, it’s called a “bye week.” 

This past week, I tried an experiment of going dark on social media. My own bye week, to mix metaphors. I decided to not log into my personal Facebook account for an entire week. Now, for my job, I need to log into our professional page, in order to post photos and updates for our school community. But, that’s all I did. 

Here’s what I noticed:

• Each day that passed in the dark, I felt paradoxically lighter and lighter. Instead of buying into the distracting comparison game that is social media, I was able to focus on myself and my own life. I wasn’t pulled into thinking about how certain people never tag me, even though I was literally standing next to the photo they took & conveniently didn’t include me in. I didn’t get sidetracked by supposedly inspirational messages or passive aggressive vague posts. 

• I found myself paying closer attention to real life. It’s a beautiful time of year where I live. Spring is in the air, and the weather is allowing us to spend more time outside. When I cut down on the screen time, I increased my presence and awareness. 

• My own creativity increased. I’m working on a writing project right now, in stolen moments at 5 AM (which is why my blogging has been sporadic at best). When I am not wasting time scrolling, I’m open to receiving inspiration and new ideas. It’s honestly been remarkable what I’ve been able to download this week alone. 

These observations are enough to convince me to extend my bye week. I’ve paired down my social media to Substack, Snapchat, and this new cute app called Locket, which is just Snapchat for kids. My sister sent it to me and my kids, and it’s become a cute way to share photos between us and our kids. 

Recently, an author I love, Glennon Doyle, journeyed over to Substack, in an experiment in re-entering the world of social media. You can read more about her experience on her website, but here was my take: Glennon tried Substack. It didn’t feel right for her. Instead of “staying the course” as our culture glorifies, she left. She quit. She said, essentially, “My spirit is telling me this isn’t right for me, so I am going to stop.”

Far too often, we allow our worries about what others will think, about how we might let people down who have expectations for us. But, life is too short for that. We need to be at peace with our own spirits. 

So here’s what I’ve decided feels right for me at this moment. I’m extending my break from social media, that includes sharing when I write here on this blog. I’m letting that up to the Universe. I’ll write here when I’m able, when I’m led to. And the people who are meant to read my words, will find them. 

My advice, if you are asking for it, is to find some time to get quiet today. Ask yourself, your spirit, “What is mine to do?” Pay attention to what comes up for you and trust yourself.