I've said before (and will likely say many more times) that I have never thought of my role as a mother as "raising children." Instead, I've insisted on playing the long game, that is to say, "raising adults." That doesn't mean I've rushed their childhoods by any means. It just means that I prioritized raising self-sufficient humans who are confident and able to manage things like making their own doctor's appointments and balancing their own checking accounts. And if I may pat myself on the back for a moment, I've done pretty well at this. I've been comfortable with allowing my kids to fail forward, to learn from their own mistakes, to be there to help them pick up the pieces along the way.
But here's what I'm learning in this new season of life. Those children in your house? They actually do become adults. Like real adults. They move away, to faraway places, and they do things like join the Air Force and get married. And one day, when you least expect it, they will send you pictures from Costco. Costco, of all places. With their WIFE. What is this madness?
They will message you things like, "Look at this great deal I got on a TV for our house," or "Check out this sale on chicken!" But literally yesterday, you were nagging them about turning in permission slips and cleaning their rooms. Time is a tricky, slippery bandit, trust me.
You will placate yourself, thinking, "Hey, I still have kids at home, so I still must be young and hip." Then your next kid will turn eight-freaking-teen without even asking, and the next thing you know, you will be in a tattoo parlor (what a funny word, parlor) getting yet another mother-child tattoo. The first one in Mandarin for your linguist son, this one a different kind of sun to complement your daughter's moon -- as in I love you to the moon and back.
And birthday presents will be be college-themed, because you see what is next on the horizon, and a shower caddy makes sense, after all.
You will look at your youngest, the baby bird still in the nest for now, and while you are so thankful for the nearly 5 years ahead, your heart will ache a little as well, because you know within months, he will have yet another older sibling move on without him.
But just when you find yourself start to wonder what comes next, your adult son will FaceTime you, to say, "Mom! I have to show you this amazing thing!" and though you are expecting something homeowner-related, he will turn the camera on "the biggest salamander [he's] ever seen in his whole life!"
And suddenly, it's like no time at all has passed, and you are back on Mill Street by the creek, keeping an eye on three little ones as they flip stones and hunt for salamanders and frogs and snakes. And you will sit with the wonder of it all, at the immense expanse of love and time and motherhood. It's as though Love knew that even as you are trying to embrace this whole "Mom of Adult Kids" thing, you might need a moment to recall your "Mom of Littles" era, too.
You will breathe it all in, trying to make it all last as long as you can. That's really all you can do.
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