Starting Small: Make the Room a Better Place

We so often hear motivational phrases like, "Make the world a better place" or "Be the change you wish to see in the world." I don't disagree with these sentiments, but aiming for global impact can be a bit daunting, can't it? I mean, the whole friggin' world? How do we even do that? 

The answer is pretty simple, turns out. Start where you are. Actor Rainn Wilson (of The Office fame) says of his father, "He made each room he was in a better place." Phew. That's a lot easier than tackling the whole world, right? But even "making it better" can be vague. 

Dr. Rangan Chatterjee recommends asking yourself,  "What value/quality do I want to show to others today?" and that sounds like a concrete step toward the ambiguous goal of making things better. For example, you might make a commitment to show compassion to everyone you encounter in a day -- from the jerk that cuts you off in traffic to the co-worker with that annoying chewing thing she does over lunch break. When we look at people, especially people who irritate and frustrate us, with intentional compassion, it makes the room a better place. 

Making the rooms we find ourselves in better places means looking beyond ourselves, beyond the confines of our egos. Where you work, for example, you might be too busy to really get to know your co-workers. If you make connecting a priority, you might learn that the woman who does that annoying chewing thing has an issue with her jaw, ever since the dental surgery went wrong. 

When we commit to showing compassion or seeking to understand, the frustrating situations don't change. Yep, you read that right. The jerk will still cut you off in traffic, even if you tell yourself the story that he's in a hurry because he just got the call that his mother is being taken to the hospital. The woman at work, who you now feel sorry for, will still irritate you with her loud chewing. What is won't change. 

You will. 

Instead of devoting a lot of energy to your frustration and irritation, you can let it go. Accept what is, show compassion, and move on. Remember to give yourself grace. No one gets this right 100 percent of the time. One day, someone will cut you off in traffic and you will be most Zen person out there, sending them mental blessings of loving-kindness on their journey, and the next day, someone will cut you off, and you will be calling them names that would make a sailor blush. Guess why? Because you are human. You will mess up. The trick is not berating yourself for it, but instead choosing to do better next time. It's that simple. 

As we head into a new week, give it a shot. Choose a virtue or quality you'd like to show others today, and see what happens. You may just find the room you're in just got a little bit better. 



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